Don't Think, Just Feel
by BrilliantDarkness
Summary: So how did Reid meet Maggie? Here's the unabridged story. Remember reviews are the only payment we get on here! First chapters are nice and tame but the M rating will be deserved before it's over.
1. Chapter 1

It was a lovely spring day with apple blossom petals floating blissfully through the air. Somewhere on the historic campus of the College of William & Mary, sat Spencer Reid lost in a book. His finger flew down the page and he was completely oblivious to the life around him on the campus. Nearby there was a game of Frisbee going on and young lovers walked hand in hand between their classes. Somewhere in the deep recesses of his brilliant mind he thought that this must be what it was like to be a regular, normal person. Or at least what a person with a normal job might experience. He could never fathom leaving the BAU but on this warm and oddly hopeful spring day, it was a welcome change of pace and he felt the corners of his mouth raise ever so slightly.

"Whoa, slow down there, Slugger. You're going to get an upset stomach."

Reid looked up in the direction of the voice absolutely confused. He blinked as the sun assaulted his eyes and into focus came a woman. Backlit as she was by the sun, her hair was illuminated creating the illusion of a halo.

"What?" Reid managed to choke out.

"You're consuming that tome a tad quickly Mr. Bookworm. You're going to get indigestion."

Spencer opened his mouth to start rattling off the facts to inform this woman of how illogical a statement this was and then decided that this was a time when his first thought didn't need to fall out of his mouth. Instead he just studied the woman in front of him. Her style was caught irrevocably between bohemian and perhaps Victorian. He wasn't even sure how those could exist in the same space and yet it worked for her. She left her long dark tresses loose and allowed the curls to take where they wished and stay straight where they wished. She smiled and as she did, her whole face came to life. Her green eyes sparkled. This mystery woman took a step toward Spencer and he delighted in the soft jingling of her bracelets. She extended a hand to him.

"Dr. Margaret James, literature."

Spencer took her hand and shook it but could not seem to shake his gaze from her smiling eyes.

"In polite society this is your cue to tell me your name—unless you prefer Mr. Bookworm."

Spencer cleared his throat trying to disguise the fact that he wasn't sure exactly what his name was.

"Um, Dr. Spencer Reid, mathematics."

" Ah, the infamous Dr. Reid. The new wunderkind. At last we meet."

Spencer was certain she was teasing him mildly but was equally certain that there was no malice behind it.

"You can just call me Spencer, if you like."

Dr. James smiled brightly making Spencer's stomach flip. "It just so happens I do like. I'm Maggie by the way. The Dr. James thing is just for my students."

Spencer repeated, "Maggie" more to himself than to anyone else.

"Correct! Wow! You are smart, aren't you?"

Spencer looked a tad uneasy. At his discomfort, Maggie frowned. It had been her intent to put this man at ease and now he looked like Bambi staring down an 18 wheeler.

"Hey." She said cheerily, "was just heading for some coffee. Care to join me?"

Inside her head she hoped she sounded more confident than she felt and that her voice wasn't as shrill as it was in her own mind. She must have done alright because he seemed to relax.

"I'd love to," he said.

Over coffee the two talked easily.

Once Spencer caught himself rattling off a string of statistics about kidnapped children. He froze terrified that she would find him an incurable geek but she just smiled and asked him to finish his thought. And later in the conversation she was relating a rather obscure story about Shakespeare's writing process and stopped herself mid-sentence before Spencer urged her on. Things were going very well and both parties were encouraged until Maggie caught sight of her watch.

"Son of a butter biscuit!"

Spencer looked at her quizzically.

"New Year's resolution to quit cussing. I'm running late for a meeting. I'm afraid I have to take my leave. This was fun, Spencer. Call me?"

With that she was gone with only a brief pause to give him a quick kiss on the cheek and squeeze his shoulders. And Spencer was alone. He could never have believed how bright the world could be one moment and how dark the next.

For the next week, Reid was distracted. Not that he let on to his teammates, of course. A case came up and off he flew with the team. The case was solved and back home he came. Truth be told, his mind never truly left Williamsburg. This was uncharted territory for him and he knew he needed advice. He supposed that most men would call their fathers. Unfortunately that was still an awkward situation. He could call his mother but depending on the day, she might not even fully comprehend who she was talking to on the phone. His mind raced along the members of the team turning the pros and cons over in his head. Finally he made up his mind. He tentatively knocked on the door. From inside he heard the answer.

"Enter if you dare the cave of the cyber queen!"

"Hey Garcia," Reid said as he quietly entered the domain of Penelope Garcia and closed the door behind him. He walked across the room and perched timidly on the edge of a chair.

"Hey Junior, what brings you to my abode away from abode?"

"First I need to know that you can keep a secret."

"Scout's honor, hacker's code, cross my heart and pinky swear!"

"I need a little advice."

"And you came to me? Oh be still my heart! What kind of advice?"

"There's this woman-"

"Oh!" Garcia nearly bursts into tears. "Stop right there. I just need to take this all in. My little baby is getting all growed up and coming to Auntie Penelope for advice."

Reid gets up to leave. "This was a mistake."

"No, no! You have to let me help you. I never get to help any of you with anything happy. Please, Reid. I won't make fun anymore."

Reid sat down as Garcia leaned forward in conspiracy.

"So where'd you meet her?"

"She's a professor at William & Mary. We had coffee and things seemed to go so well. But then she had to run off to a meeting. That was a week ago."

"So what did she say when she left?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like 'we should do this again' or 'have a good life' or what?"

"She said it was fun and told me to call her and kissed my cheek."

Garcia squeals. "Ooh! She likes you Mister. And don't look so shocked. You're quite the little cutie and many of us gals like the smart guys. You need to call her and ask her out!"

"Where do I take her and what should I say?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself here, kiddo. Just call her right now."

"I can't call her with you sitting here."

"Well, I'm not letting you out until you call her. Besides, I can help. I am a girl, you know."

Reluctantly Reid dialed the number.

"Hello, Maggie? It's Spencer. Yeah, Mr. Bookworm."

Garcia stifled a giggle as Reid shot her a look that could certainly kill.

"Yeah, I'm still here, Maggie. Sorry about that. I was out of town for work. All done with that one. I was wondering if maybe you'd like to have dinner sometime. I mean I'm sure you have dinner regularly but I mean with me? When?"

Spencer looked inquiringly at Garcia who mouthed "Friday."

"Friday? You would? Great. I'll see you then."

Reid hung up while Garcia bounced up and down.

"I told you she likes you!"

"Garcia, you know you can't breathe a word of this to anyone. Promise me, please!"

"On one condition."

"What?"

"I get the full play-by-play when you come into work on Monday."

"Wait, no, I can't—"

"You may edit things appropriate for a gentleman to edit. I'd not ask you to dishonor your lady but I want everything else."

"Deal. Now what do I wear?"


	2. Chapter 2

Late on that Friday night, Spencer pulled his car up to the front of Maggie's house. She sat quiet in the passenger's seat but smiled contentedly. Things had apparently gone well. Once the car was stopped and turned off, Spencer bounds out determined to open her door for her. With the car door shut securely behind her, Maggie curtsied grandly to her suitor.

"Why thank you, kind sir," she said in an over-exaggerated southern drawl.

Reid bowed and offered an arm to escort her to her door. Once on the porch, Maggie released Reid's arm and sauntered off to the porch swing. She sat down and meekly patted the spot next to her. Spencer obliged and was soon seated stiffly to her left. Maggie bit her lip nervously while Spencer fidgeted with the buttons on his vest.

"It's a lovely night, isn't it, Spencer?"

Spencer nods.

"It's nice here on the porch. Do you spend a lot of time here?"

"As much as I can."

Then silence for a few more agonizing moments. Finally Maggie stood up and simply said, "I'm sorry."

"I don't understand."

Spencer was genuinely confused by her words. He hoped for an answer from this captivating woman but certainly did not expect the flood that poured from her at that moment.

"I bored you to death. I do that when I'm nervous. I just babble on and on about the Browning's. Just look at you there; like you can't wait to be free. And now I'm acting crazy. I'm sure you get quite enough of that at the office. What was I even thinking talking to you? Smart, well-traveled and with a job that brings such excitement. And you have been saddled with me all night? Dumpy, ugly Maggie who just rants on about dead writers and their loves, not really having had one of her own. Not really anyway."

By now Maggie was pacing the porch wringing her hands.

"You don't have to stay. You can leave if you want. You can go on your way and pretend this night never happened."

Tears welled in her eyes and spilled over her lids catching in her long lashes. But she stood tall to let him know he could be free of his crazy date and she would be okay.

Spencer wasn't sure what to do exactly. He stood and took a cautious step toward her.

"Maggie, I don't want to leave. I don't want to forget a single moment of this night. Not ever. I only wish you knew how much your eyes dance when you talk about Robert and Elizabeth. How adorable it is that you refer to them like they are friends you invite over for tea. I could sit and listen for hours just to be captivated by your eyes, your joy."

By this time they were just inches from each other. Although he was very unsure of himself, Spencer felt compelled to reach out and dry the single tear that was suspended on Maggie's cheek.

"Maggie, I'm the one that's not good at this. I can count the number of dates I've had in my life on one hand. I have you crying on our first date."

"Second"

"What was that?"

"Second. We had coffee, remember?"

"That was a date?"

"It took every bit of courage I could muster to go over and talk to you, it damned, oh shoot, darned, oh hell, damned better have been a date. Screw the resolution."

"You were nervous about talking to me?"

"You may not know this but you are a very handsome man."

Spencer was not sure how to respond to the compliment so he just leaned on the porch railing looking out into the clear night sky. Maggie walked over and placed her hand over his. He tensed for a moment but then intertwined his fingers with hers. She leaned her head over to rest against his shoulder.

"Maggie, you don't honestly think you're ugly do you?"

"Well I'm certainly no great beauty."

"I think you are."

Maggie snuggled even closer to him and sighed as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"You're freezing Maggie."

"I hadn't noticed."

"That's flattering but you really need to get inside. It's not summer yet you know."

"This really has to end?"

"Yes, dear. But I think we should do this again sometime. What do you think?"

"Definitely."

Maggie turned to enter her home and found her wrist held by Reid. She looked back at him a bit surprised. To be honest, Spencer was just as surprised by his action as she was.

"Maggie, I would very much like to kiss you goodnight."

"On a first date? What kind of girl do you think I am?"

"Second date, remember?"

"Oh well, that makes all the difference. Carry on then my brave knight."

Reid pulled Maggie close to him and bent his head to ever so gently press his lips to hers.

"Goodnight my fair maiden."

"Goodnight my sweet prince."


	3. Chapter 3

Monday morning Reid walked into work to be almost immediately accosted by a certain flamboyant technical analyst.

"Reid, so glad you're in. I need to ask you something about math type things."

Garcia grabbed a hold of Spencer's arm and marched him off to her office. Once inside she pushed him into a seat.

"Now spill."

"Garcia, it was wonderful. She is wonderful. I think she might be almost as shy and awkward as I am. And she's so beautiful. But she doesn't think she is. But she is. Really."

"Okay, I'm dizzy. Change of format here. I'll ask specific questions and you'll answer them directly."

Spencer just nodded with a sappy smile upon his boyish face.

"What did you talk about at dinner?"

"Robert and Elizabeth Barrett Browning. And statistics. And human behavior. And our colleagues at the college."

"You didn't really talk about stats did you?"

"Yes. I thought I was really messing up but she didn't get that vacant look that most people do when I start. She asked questions and made me give her more facts and figures. No one has ever done that before."

"Did you open the car door for her?"

"Of course. I know that much even without your advice."

"Did you kiss her?"

"Is that the type of thing a gentleman reveals?"

"Well, it depends. If you spent half the night playing tonsil hockey then no, but if you just kissed her goodnight, then I don't think you are causing your lady any sort of embarrassment."

"Then yes, I did kiss her goodnight."

"You really are getting to be such a big boy now."

Spencer barely heard her teasing him.

"So, Garcia, I have to see her again. Not at school. On another date. I have to spend more time with her. Is it too soon to call her and ask her out again?"

"Probably not but I think I saw J.J. running with some files so you might not want to be making any concrete plans right now."

Spencer's face fell.

"Sorry sugar."

* * *

Later in the day as Spencer prepared his go bag, he took a moment to call Maggie. He just had to talk to her. He didn't want her to think he didn't enjoy their date and was avoiding her.

"Maggie, it's Spencer. I'm well. I actually am about to depart. We have a case. I don't know how long it will take but I would really like to see you when I get back. If that's okay."

Maggie's response brought a relieved smile to Spencer's face.

"That's wonderful. I will call you as soon as I get back. I'm always safe. Goodbye my fair maiden."

* * *

As the plane touched down once again home in Quantico, Reid felt a burst of excitement. He didn't feel yet like he could tell the rest of the team about Maggie. He didn't want to jinx it. They had only had two dates and kissed once. Twice if you count the little peck on the cheek when she left him at the coffee shop. Besides, when this case started getting to him, he could just think of her and it made things so much easier to take. Once the team knew about her, she wouldn't be just his anymore. And he wasn't in the mood to be teased mercilessly by Morgan. It was too new and he didn't want to mess up how new and fresh and exciting this all was.

Once off the jet, Spencer had to decline an invitation to go out for a drink with Morgan. Maybe he was just being paranoid but Spencer was sure that Morgan suspected something. Spencer hurried to his car where he could safely dial the number. He hoped he wasn't waking her but he had let her know he would be returning tonight.

The phone rang only once before he heard her sweet voice on the other end.

"Spencer?"

"Yes, it's me, Maggie."

"Thank goodness you're home safe."

"Can I see you?"

"Of course. Drive safe."

* * *

When Spencer approached Maggie's house he had to do a double take. There she was on the front porch swing wrapped in an unbelievably large quilt reading a book. She dropped the book when she heard his car nearing. He parked the car and ran to the porch where she was standing still wrapped in the blanket and beaming at him.

"My sweet prince has returned to me."

"As if I could stay away from my fair maiden. Surely dragons could not keep me from you."

Maggie started to laugh lightly and then she caught sight of his face.

"What happened? I thought you said you were careful."

"It's just a black eye, Maggie. It was a little scuffle. I've been through much worse. Hell, I dealt with worse before my 13th birthday."

"Well, I don't like it. Will kissing it make it better?"

"I think it certainly would."

Maggie beamed even brighter at him and brushed his long brown locks aside to kiss his eye.

"Better?"

"Much"

To his surprise, that wasn't a lie as he thought it would be.

"Brrr…it's chilly tonight. Come in with me Spencer. Get warmed up."


	4. Chapter 4

Spencer dutifully followed Maggie into her house where they were immediately met by two very vocal Siamese cats. Spencer instinctively backed against the wall, terrified. Maggie crouched down to greet the felines who were intent on sniffing their human.

"Yes babies, I know. Mama is up very late. I have someone for you to meet. You two had better just be nice to Spencer."

Turning she saw Spencer's fear.

"Don't even tell me you don't like cats. That is a total deal breaker, you know?"

"I have nothing against cats. Animals just don't like me."

"No wonder. Would you like someone who took that posture with you without as much as an introduction?"

"I guess not."

"Of course not. Now come over here and sit down. Stay still. Barrett and Browning are very sweet but Siamese can be very protective of their people. It's what they were bred for, you know."

Spencer started to speak but Maggie just raised a hand and shook her head. She first lifted the lilac point cat.

"This is Barrett. She is the undisputed queen of the manor. Barrett, this is Spencer. He's very nice so you be nice too."

Next she raised the chocolate point.

"This is Browning. He's an older gentleman but don't tell him that. He'll be very offended. Browning please meet Spencer."

As if they understood, the two cats walked over to the still nervous Reid and sniffed at him.

"You may now address them as you've been formally introduced."

"Good evening, Barrett. Pleasure to meet you, Browning."

Spencer felt very self-conscious talking to the cats until Barrett hopped onto his lap and began to purr.

"You certainly have a way with the ladies, don't you? Browning likes you too but he's far too proper to make such a fuss. Okay, I have been revealed as the crazy cat lady that I am. You may run screaming from my home now if you wish."

"Please believe me, Maggie when I tell you that you'd have to get a whole lot crazier to scare me away."

Maggie tilted her head at him considering his words.

"There's a story there. Perhaps you'll share it with me one day."

"I will. I promise."

Maggie yawned and pulled the quilt tighter around herself.

"I'm tired, Spencer."

Spencer looked around uncomfortably.

"I should go."

"No. That's not what I meant. Unless you want to go."

"I don't."

"You are welcome to stay. I have a guest room. Or you could sleep in my room."

"Maggie, I didn't come here to pressure you into sleeping with me."

"I wouldn't offer something like that if it wasn't my idea. Besides, no one ever said you were getting any tonight."

Her eyes twinkled at him and he knew that she was far from upset at what he worried was an unforgivable faux pas.

"Come on. I'm too tired to talk about this anymore. I'm going to bed. The guest room is right across the hall from mine. You just sleep where you'll be most comfortable."

With that she turned and walked up the stairs to her room leaving Spencer dumbfounded in the living room. Barrett rubbed against his leg meowing as if in question of what this new person was going to do. Spencer wasn't entirely sure what he should do but he started up the stairs. The first door he came to was the bathroom which was handy. It bought him time, allowed him to empty his bladder and change into the sweatpants that he carried in his go bag to use as pajamas on the road.

Spencer left the bathroom but still had no idea what he was going to do. He quickly decided that he would just go down the hall and sleep in the first room he came to. That plan was quickly dashed as he found that the guest room was exactly opposite Maggie's bedroom. He stood in the hall, frozen. He truly had no idea what he should do next.

"Spencer! Guest room or in here but you cannot just stand in my hallway all night. Don't think about it sweetie. Just feel. Where do you want to be right now?"

Without another thought or moment wasted, Spencer turned and walked into Maggie's bedroom. He crawled under the blankets careful to stay on his own side of the bed, lest he be thought a letch. He was surprised but pleased when Maggie rolled over and curled around him muttering, "Good choice." So there he lay with her head on his chest, an arm thrown around his waist and one of her legs draped over his legs. For just a moment, he thought to panic and then he remembered her words. "Don't think, just feel." Spencer's eyes grew heavy and he suddenly felt a sense of home the likes of which he had never experienced before. As he drifted off to sleep he was vaguely aware of Maggie whispering in his ear.

"Sweet dreams my handsome prince."


	5. Chapter 5

Spencer jolted awake in the early morning disoriented. A brief moment later he remembered where he was but still was not sure what had caused him to wake. Then the culprit became apparent by purring and rubbing against his forehead. He took notice of the coloration.

"Good morning, Browning."

Browning seemed content to have been acknowledged and walked slowly to the foot of the bed where he curled up to begin washing himself. Spencer was now at liberty to take stock of his surroundings. The room had been dark when he slid into Maggie's bed but with the growing light of sunrise he was able to see a room that was as much a mass of contradictions as its owner. The walls of a muted rose coordinated with the ivory lace curtains which in turn went nicely with the quilt featuring a multitude of roses, pinks and burgundies. None of those things could be reconciled with the large photograph of Marilyn Monroe or the even larger print of Van Gogh's Starry Night. Spencer opted to not even think about the possible importance of the large framed poster of the cast of "The Wizard of Oz."

Spencer thought to himself that he needed to get out of his brain for a while; to quit trying to profile Maggie. He needed to just enjoy being with her. He noticed that during the night she had established quite a death grip around his waist. He wondered to himself if she would even know herself why she did that if he asked. Inhaling he caught the faint scent of coconut and perhaps pomegranate emanating from her hair. With the hand that was not wrapped around Maggie he stroked her hair gently, winding his fingers absently into the curls. Maggie sighed and snuggled closer, if that was even possible. As she buried her face into his neck, Spencer heard, "'Uv you…"

Spencer's eyes flew open. Did that just happen? Did it mean what it sounded like? Did she know she said it? Was she awake? What should he do now? He knew he shouldn't say it unless he felt it. Did he feel that way? Did he love her? Spencer was confused. He had no real frame of reference for this and all of these questions were making his head hurt.

Reid forcefully shut his eyes and took a deep breath. He tried to shove his logic away to closer inspect his emotions, knowing that emotions were almost always illogical. The only problem, as he quickly found was that once logic and reason were gone from his mind, there really wasn't anything left of him. So back to the logical approach it was. Once he restored reason to his mind, he realized he was still very tired. Reason told him that he wouldn't accomplish anything until he got some more sleep. He shifted onto his side rolling toward Maggie. He put his arms around her and she cooed softly. Spencer stroked her hair hoping he hadn't woken her. She quieted and Spencer closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

The sun was streaming brightly into the room when Spencer woke again. This time there was no mystery as to what brought him from his slumber. From somewhere downstairs was music loudly playing and above that was Maggie singing "I Could Have Danced All Night."

Reid swung his legs out of the bed and looked over at his sole sleeping companion.

"Your mama likes to sing, huh, Barrett?"

The cat looked up at him utterly nonplussed.

"You seem to be accustomed to this. I have to admit, I usually wake up to a little more quiet."

Barrett squinted at him.

"I think I could get used to it though. Look how quickly I became comfortable talking to cats. I definitely could get used to waking up to music."

Spencer pushed himself off the bed with a determination that seemed to say he knew what was going on in his life for the first time in a while.

"Well Barrett, you've been very helpful. I can understand why your mom thinks so highly of you. If you'll excuse me, my dear, my fair maiden awaits."


	6. Chapter 6

Spencer walked down the stairs to find Maggie waltzing with an imaginary partner in her living room still singing at the very top of her lungs.

"I only know when heeee…began to dance with meeeee….I could have daaaanced, daaaanced, daaaanced alllll niiiiiiight!"

Without ever letting on that she had noticed him there she twirled over to Spencer, grabbed his hands, spun him around and then planted a kiss firmly on his lips.

"Good morning, Sweet Prince!"

"Is it still morning?"

"Barely. You slept well then?"

"Except for when Browning finally decided to approve of me."

Maggie giggled. It was like music. From the kitchen there was the beeping of a timer going off. Maggie formally bowed to him.

"Please excuse me sir."

She then ran off to the kitchen. Spencer didn't know if he should follow but he wanted to so he did. As he approached the door he heard a small crash.

"Son of a goddamned, motherfucking bitch!"

He peeked into the room to see Maggie shaking her hand violently.

"Maggie, are you okay?"

"Did you know that ovens make things hot? I sometimes forget that piece of trivia myself."

"Let me see. I am a doctor you know."

Maggie reluctantly held out her hand to him and Spencer could see the redness of the minor burns. Without letting go of her hand, he led her to the sink, turned on the cold water and held her hand under the faucet. After a moment or two he turned off the water and kissed her fingers gently before he pressed a towel to them.

"All better?"

"Yes, my prince."

"So what was the aim here before the ability of metal to conduct heat got the better of you"

"To get that loaf of bread on the stovetop out of its pan and onto that cooling rack there."

Spencer quickly accomplished the feat and turned back to face Maggie.

"What else can I do for my fair maiden today?"

"Kiss me."

Spencer smiled and walked over to her. She looped her arms around his neck and looked up at him with those smiling green eyes. He bent his head to her and his pulse quickened as he felt the warmth of her lips against his. He was momentarily surprised when her lips parted and he felt her tongue prodding his own to open as well. He gladly acquiesced and held her more tightly against him. He could hear her breath becoming more rapid as he kissed her. When their lips separated she sighed sweetly and rested her head against his chest.

"Your heartbeat is very soothing."

Spencer wasn't sure if this was the sort of statement that one was expected to respond to so he kept quiet and just held her. When he became certain that she had fallen asleep standing up, she lifted her head and spoke.

"I'm starving, you?"

Spencer suddenly realized he was indeed very hungry and nodded at her. Maggie pulled away and bustled around the kitchen. Before he knew it he was seated at the kitchen table looking at a steaming bowl of soup and a thick slice of the still warm bread.

"How long have you been awake, anyway?"

"Long enough."

"Homemade bread and homemade soup?"

"I made the soup, yes, but not today. I always have some in the freezer. I live alone, you know."

"It's wonderful."

"Thank you," she beamed.

Once lunch was finished and the dishes were in the sink, the two sat on the porch swing. Spencer was very quiet.

"You seem like a man with something on his mind. Is it something you can talk about?"

Spencer took a deep breath not sure how to begin.

"Maggie, when Browning woke me earlier, you mumbled something in your sleep. It sounded like 'love you.'"

Maggie opened her mouth to speak but Spencer kept going, fearful of losing his nerve.

"At first I was confused and didn't know what to do. I still don't know for sure if that's what you said or if you do feel lat way about me. But it doesn't matter because it made me think about what I feel. I am in love with you. 'I love thee to the level of everyday's most quiet need, by sun and candle light.'"

There was silence for a moment and Spencer feared that he had horribly and inexorably damaged this budding relationship. Then Maggie smiled brightly and threw her arms around him.

"'I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints—I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears of all my life!' Oh Spencer! I don't remember saying anything but I wanted to tell you that I love you and I was just too chicken to do it."

"I'm sorry those weren't my own words. I'm not that eloquent."

"Never apologize for quoting Lizzie. That woman knew how to love."

"Indeed she did."

Maggie shifted to lean her back against Spencer with her feet draped over the arm of the swing. His arms were lazily wrapped around her and he kissed the top of her head. And this is how they sat wordless until the blue of the daytime sky became streaked with reds and purples and the sun finally sank below the horizon.


	7. Chapter 7

Eventually the couple found themselves sitting in darkness on the porch. Suddenly Maggie stood.

"I'm cold. I need to go in now."

Spencer sat in shock for a moment still not sure enough of himself or this whole situation to know what was expected of him next. He just sat there while Maggie walked to her door. As she reached for the doorknob, she looked at him oddly.

"Aren't you coming in too?"

Spencer rose from his spot realizing how stiff his back muscles had become just sitting in that one spot for hours. He stretched and Maggie chuckled at him.

"Not as young as you used to be, huh? Cold isn't going to help that so get in here."

Once inside Maggie moved him to the couch and sat him down. She turned his back to her and began rubbing his shoulders. Spencer moaned a little as his muscles loosened.

"Feeling better?"

Reid nodded. Maggie cocked her head at him.

"You know, I've been looking at it all day and I've decided that the black eye is kind of sexy. Just don't go getting them on purpose now."

"Don't worry, I won't."

"Spencer?"

"What, honey?"

"Your job can be dangerous, can't it?"

"Teaching? Well, you know as well as I do what that's like."

"Don't try to be cute. You know damned well what I'm talking about."

"Yes, being an FBI agent can be dangerous but I have a very good team of people I work with and we all take care of each other."

"Do they always keep you safe?"

"It's not always possible to keep everyone perfectly safe. There have been scary moments."

"How scary?"

"Maggie, I'd rather not—"

"I need to know. I can deal with most anything when I am armed with knowledge but ignorance is not bliss for me. It's an open invitation to imagine the worst."

"I've been shot."

"Shot? Not shot at, shot, like a bullet actually going into your body…from a gun?"

"I knew this was a bad idea. It was in the leg and I was on crutches for a little while but everything is just fine now."

"That's what can happen when you leave?"

"Usually we're more in control of situation where there's gunfire. That was an odd case and we didn't have our full team with us that day."

"But when you have the whole team then you can stay safe, right?"

"Maggie, I don't want to scare you."

"Well, that answer did more to scare than anything else you could tell me."

"Okay, on a couple of occasions I have been the hostage of an unsub."

"Hostage? Did they hurt you?"

"Once. He was a very sick man. Two of his personalities were very cruel."

"Oh, you poor thing. Your team rescued you though?"

"Yes, they did."

"Okay. I have to admit that I don't like you being in danger but it's not for me to like. It's for me to accept."

"Maggie, I don't want to upset you."

"Spencer, I'd rather know and process this in my own way than to go on blissfully unaware of danger until I get some horrible call. What you do for a living isn't going to change. You love it and you're good at it and you help people by doing it. I'm proud of what you do. You put yourself at risk to save others. That's very noble."

Spencer blushed a little. No one had ever put his job in quite those terms to his face before. He had been called a hero before but never really bought that he could be one until just now. From across the room there was a very irritated sounding meow.

"Oh I know what that one means. Ms. Barrett doesn't like when her food runs low."

Maggie got up and walked to the kitchen to refill the food dish and Spencer got up and followed her. Once the food was in the dish, Maggie turned and Spencer could see that her eyes were moist. He stopped her from leaving the room with his arm and kissed her on the forehead.

"I'm so sorry. I made you cry."

"No, you didn't. The fact that there is a need for you to do what you do makes me cry. The fact that there are such sick people in the world that would try to hurt someone as beautiful as you makes me cry. I can't envision you ever making me cry."

Spencer held Maggie tight for a moment and then kissed her exploring her mouth with his tongue. She groaned and pressed her hips to his causing an unconscious response from below his waist.

"Well, hello there Dr. Reid."

Spencer pulled away embarrassed.

"Don't look like that. You've got nothing to be ashamed of from what I felt."

She continued talking in between planting kisses all over his face and neck.

"You said you love me. I believe you. That is the sort of thing that can happen when two people who love each other get together. Come with me."

Maggie took his hand and led him up the stairs to her room.

"Maggie, we don't have to, if you don't want—"

His lips were stilled by hers.

"I know just as well as anyone that I don't have to do anything I don't want to. Get it through your head, my love, I want to."

By this time she had him stripped to the waist and was working on his belt buckle. Spencer's hands were noncommittally on her shoulders.

"Don't think, baby, just feel. What do you want? Because I know what I want."

"I-I don't know."

"Yes you do."

"Maggie, I have to tell you something."

Maggie compliantly pulls back.

"What is it, Love?"

"I'm, um, well, what I mean is, this is my, um, I've never, um…"

His voice trailed off obviously frustrated at his lack of ability to explain but Maggie figured it out.

"A handsome man like you? Never? Not once?"

Spencer looked ashamed and began to pick up his shirt.

"Please put that down, Spencer."

Maggie plops down on the bed.

"Please sit down. I'm sorry. It was never my intent to make you uncomfortable. I'm not exactly over experienced at this either."

"I should go."

Spencer looked incredibly young and fragile at that moment.

"Is that what you want? Don't think about what you think you should do, just feel. Tell me what you want right now."

"I want to stay. I really want to be with you. I'm just, well, nervous."

"Don't be, I have a feeling that you will do just fine."

At this Spencer seemed to find a new confidence. He leaned and kissed Maggie while removing her sweater. Kissing his way down her neck he made short work of her bra clasp.

"I'm impressed. Are you sure you've never done this before?"

"I might have forgotten to mention that I'm a magician. I'm good with my hands."

"I'm looking forward to finding out."

Spencer rolled her onto her back and quickly cast aside her skirt and panties. Kissing her breasts and teasing her nipples with his tongue he explored between her legs with his hand. What he lacked in experience, he made up for in what he had learned about the female body from reading. Maggie moaned and arched her back. She spread her legs and brought her knees up so that she could use her feet to push his trousers and boxers down. She traced her fingers down his side and across his pelvis. Spencer groaned his approval as she wrapped her hand around his erection guiding him into her. As he entered, she gasped and moved her hips closer to him.

Maggie brought her legs up and wrapped them around his waist. Slowly, unsure of himself at first, Spencer moved his hips in and out. Each time he moved with more urgency. Maggie moaned under him.

"Just feel baby, it feels so good. Just feel it."

Spencer obeyed and got himself out of his brain for a while. He focused on her legs tightening around his middle, her fingers digging into his back and her slight involuntary muscle contractions as she neared orgasm. He allowed himself to think of his own mounting desire and the sensations he had only experienced solo before. Maggie cried out and arched her back and one more thrust later he was there too.

He then rolled bringing Maggie with him so that they came to rest with him on his back and Maggie sprawled half across him. Her head rested on his chest and he could feel her breathing return to a normal rate.

"My, my Prince Charming. That was nothing short of amazing."

"I love you Maggie."


	8. Chapter 8

Spencer just held Maggie listening to her breath, feeling the heat of it against his chest. He normally wasn't good at contemplating his own feelings but as Maggie relaxed against him he felt happy and peaceful. His senses were heightened and he supposed this was due to the surge of adrenaline he had just experienced. Maggie's breathing became deeper and even. He was certain she had fallen asleep. He tried not to disturb her as he slid quietly out of the bed and padded down the hall to the bathroom. Spencer returned to a baffling sight. Maggie was curled into a ball. She had her pillow pinned around her head with her arms and was sobbing loudly. He rushed to her and quickly mounted the bed and scooped her head into his arms. She jumped and tensed at first, slowly opening her eyes.

"Shhhh…Maggie, what's wrong? Talk to me please."

"Spencer?"

Maggie's breath hitched as she tried to stop the flow of her tears but they were now coming with a renewed force.

"I need you to talk to me. Tell me what's wrong. Did I do something to upset you?"

She shook her head violently but still could not stop her tears. She tried to speak between sobs with the hitching air that she could muster.

"Sorry…so sorry…didn't…believe."

"Believe? I don't understand."

"In you…thought you….left."

"Left? I-I just went to the bathroom."

Maggie's tears returned with a renewed intensity and Spencer held her even tighter.

"I'm so sorry Maggie."

Spencer was so very confused he wasn't sure what he was apologizing for or even if he needed to but it actually made him hurt to see her crying like this.

"No. Not you. Me. I'm so stupid."

"Shhhh…You know that's not true. I can think of many, many words to describe you, Maggie. Stupid is nowhere on that list. Beautiful, kind, funny, passionate…but you are NOT stupid. Now why would you think I left?"

"It wouldn't be the first time something like that happened to me."

"I love you. Why would I sneak out? If I had to leave for work, I would surely wake you and at least say good bye."

"You are not the first man to tell me he loves me. When you slipped out of bed, I just felt so angry at myself for falling for it."

"Well, you can fall for this because it's true. I'm sorry for the others that hurt you. I know what it's like when people use you for their own amusement. I could never hurt you and I'm not skilled at deception."

"You're not leaving?"

"Eventually. I have work and so do you but I had no plans to leave tonight."

Maggie was by now able to compose herself. Her face was still streaked with tears and Spencer noticed that her green eyes became almost like glittering emeralds when she cried. A beautiful effect but not one he wanted to have to see often. She smiled at him and his heart felt warm and good again.

"I know tonight was a first for you, Spencer. Not that I could tell from your technique—as if I even know that much about that anyway. But it was a couple of firsts for me too. It's the first time a man has slept with me and actually stayed to sleep with me."

"What's the other first?"

"I've had sex before but I think this is the first time I have ever made love."

She was smiling now and had the same look that often crossed her face when she spoke of the Browning's. Not understanding why entirely, Spencer felt emboldened.

"Care to go for a second time?"

"Why Spencer Reid! How very powerful and in charge of you."

"Too forward?"

"No, I think I like this side of you."

"Well, I love all of you Dr. James."

"Even the crazy bits?"

"Especially the crazy bits."

* * *

Sunday night found Spencer Reid alone in his own bed in his own apartment. It felt far emptier that it ever had before. Parting from Maggie that afternoon had been hard but he knew he had work the next day and didn't relish the thought of an early morning drive from Williamsburg to Quantico.

Laying alone; trying to sleep without Maggie's breath on his chest or her soft hair draped across his shoulder tickling his face; it seemed so foreign to him now. He marveled at how quickly that had happened. A couple of weeks ago he well, he couldn't say he was happily alone but he was at least contentedly alone. Now he felt like only half a person if he wasn't with his love. Yes, yes, she was indeed his love.

As lonely as he felt without Maggie, he knew it was probably a good thing for him to have a little space to process all of these new feelings. Well, that and to learn how to be a separate person again. He still did have responsibilities. The pair had spent almost all of their remaining time together in bed; talking, making love and even sleeping a little. Through it all, Spencer learned some very important things. So often he felt less than others emotionally because he compared his insecurities with what he saw on the exteriors of others. Talking to Maggie he had learned that everyone was wounded and insecure and scared and just muddled through as best as they could. When he met Maggie he believed her to be a confident and independent woman whose love of romantic poetry stemmed from some girlish idealism. In reality she was as insecure as he and terrified of loneliness. Her fixation on the Browning's, her dear Robert and Elizabeth, it turns out, was due to a desperate need to believe in beauty and love in a world that rarely showed those things to her. He thought of all those looking for the perfect girl or Mr. Right. He realized with a smile that it wasn't about finding perfection; it was about finding someone whose imperfections fit with your own.

At long last, Spencer was able to drift off to sleep. His dreams, for a welcome change, weren't filled with horror and monsters but with singing and love.

* * *

Monday morning Spencer was back at his desk catching up on paperwork. Until Morgan came in and sat on the edge of Spencer's desk. Spencer knew that Morgan knew, or at least thought he knew something. He sat and tried to look busy with his paperwork, hoping Morgan would just move along.

"Come on, kid, who is she?"

* * *

Author's note: The story ends here becasue this is where my other story "Baggage" begins. I thank all the dear readers who took this journey with me so far away from my comfort zone as a writer. Those who know me, know that I usually write in a script style and normally do case fiction with perhaps a subplot featuring the personal lives of our favorite team of criminal profilers. This story bounced around in my head like a super ball threatening concussion if I did not write it and it has caused me great insecurity. As I said this is very far away from a style in which I am comfortable writing. Anywho...I hope that some of you were able to enjoy this tale.

-J


End file.
